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I wish I could say that this experience was isolated, but it’s been more the rule rather than the exception for me.

I’m all those things in a culture that not only hates fat, and finds it repulsive, but also in a culture where fat dark-skinned women can only find roles in movies as maids.

And a third, fundamentally more well-meaning group, will come over an give anecdotes about all the thick chicks they know who have male partners.

The number will usually total up to no more than 2 or 3 mind you.

But um, I’m not trying to date a dude with a fat fetish.

No hate on fetishes, but being the object of that particular one feels…Getting back to Big Boi, the reality is that Big Girls do need love. So as much as I resent the limited range of desire that it seems (Black) men have and the ever-present male privilege that allows them to never have to interrogate their sexual and romantic investments, I hate my limited partnering prospects much more. ) In my thirties, I’m prioritizing self-care and that includes being loved on and getting my groove on. And I know for sure that those things are feminist.




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So, try to get a day membership in a companion of some rich friend, as a guest and use your opportunity the best you can. The best times when powerful people practice their power are late afternoons on working days or late mornings on weekends.


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He encouraged me to go back to church and spend time with Christian friends because he knew it would help me. I just am happy with my decision, and believe that it is not a sin and God will bless my marriage and aid me through the difficulties. I am a Christian woman; I love Jesus and my heart follows Him.