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In an ideal world, people wouldn’t enter romantic relationships for what they stand to gain from their partners.

This isn’t to say that every successful minority who dates or marries interracially does so with ulterior motives.

Rather than dating across ethnic lines for validation, such people need to learn how to feel better about who they are.

Seeking therapy, reading up on their cultural background and surrounding themselves with positive images related to their ethnic group may help.

Some people, in contrast, flout their parents’ wishes simply to rebel.

No child should feel pressured to go along with their parents’ racist beliefs.

After all, interracial couples face discrimination that may lead to distinct disadvantages.

But just as some high-powered men pursue trophy wives, some members of minority groups pursue mates from the dominant culture for status. Your friends, colleagues and relatives are all dating interracially or have in the past. After all, you don’t want to be the odd one out or, even worse, the boring one.

Soon, you’re visiting interracial dating websites, and prospective dates from a variety of racial groups lie at your fingertips. The race of your date shouldn’t be the main draw for you nor should your dating patterns be influenced by what’s trendy now.

If they could erase every trait that singles them out as belonging to their minority group, they would.

Since that’s impossible, they settle for seemingly second best—coupling up with someone from a different race to make them feel better about themselves or to produce children without their telltale ethnic features.




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