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Effective dating definitely needs to take place in person, the same way your grandfather did it, but I see no good reason why happens—and for the most important mission in most of our lives, it makes no sense to crush your ability to meet great people to try a first date with because it’s not as good a story to have met them online.I have a friend that goes on two or three first dates every week with people he already knows are potentially good personality and physical matches for him—how you find the right person, and good luck keeping up with him meeting people the old-fashioned way.But is this a positive development or something to be concerned about?Is online dating making the world better and dating more effective, or is something important being lost or sacrificed as a result?Here’s what I learned: If you’re looking for someone of similar interests and lifestyle, the more specific you can be upfront, the better. What was the last good book your read, or film you saw?

Over the course of several months of online dating, I discovered that the pool of available older women is vast and diverse (as is true of men, although perhaps to a lesser extent) and that with a little effort, a reasonably intelligent, halfway-presentable person can usually generate some interest on dating websites. We’ve survived death and divorce, raised families, managed careers and built support networks of family and friends.The same goes for blurry pictures or too many photos of your pets, possessions or grandkids (no offense to the little darlings). Many women I spoke with were alternately amused and disgusted by bare-chested guys flashing their pecs in — you guessed it — bathroom selfies. Ladies: The number of lewd messages you receive is directly proportionate to the amount of skin you display.I don’t mean those innocent bathing suit pictures from last summer; I’m talking about the negligee poses and excessive cleavage. — at men’s easily predictable reactions to these photos.Since pictures are so important to your online profile, here are a few tips: Skip the bathroom selfies.Trust me, no one wants to see your personal care items or shower curtain.

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This requires open and honest discussion about difference, and an institutional respect for people of all backgrounds and abilities.

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